From hope to IVF/ICSI success

After the life affirming but ultimately unsuccessful first round of IVF/ICSI, the second round was a very different experience and it led to the creation of the most beautiful miracle I have ever seen.

So what was different? What made this round successful and the first one fail? It's impossible to tell and even if I could, what worked for me won't work for everyone. However I will still share just in case it helps any other fellow TTCers. Quite a few factors changed both in terms of treatment and lifestyle from one cycle to the next:

• Less stress - I began the treatment in the final week of what had been a very stressful job. I left to set up my own business. This is the first time in my life I truly understood what people meant by taking a weight off my shoulders. By the time the treatment had started, I had already secured some significant contracts and kept a few weeks after the treatment clear to take things at my own pace. 
• Positive affirmations - I tried to imagine what was happening in my body at each stage and Tweeted positive affirmations (see Tweets below).
• Less expectation - While I still hoped, I prepared myself for the worst. I had to consider that this might not work. My hubby had firmly said this was to be our last attempt, as he didn't want it to take over our life (though I may have tried to persuade him for more rounds though had it not worked - I knew I was meant to be a mum). Given my body's poor response to the treatment after round one, I had to be prepared for the same. 
• More experienced - after the first round, I felt much more confident about:
• Buserelin - these injections were a breeze the second time round. I relaxed so much, that it almost felt like an additional bit of acupuncture. I fretted much less about small bubbles and getting the liquid to the exact line.
• Menopur - these were the most stressful injections during round one, but again I knew how to remove that tricksy vacuum thanks to my tweeps (see also earlier post). I also referred back to my blog post on the injections and the YouTube videos to get me started. 
• Egg collection and transfer - I now knew what to expect and how great the staff were at the EFREC clinic.
• More relaxed - All of the above factors, contributed to me being much more relaxed about the whole treatment. While I did cut back on alcohol, I had the odd glass of wine on special social occasions.
• Cared for myself more - I went for gentle spa treatments, participated in an Iyengar Yoga class and took Night Nurse when I had a cold.
• More Menopur - The clinic increased my dose of Menopur very slightly. I had four powders to one water (compared to three powders the first time around).
• Fragmin - These are blood thinning meds which I was prescribed after it appeared I had slight over stimulation following egg collection. When I was given them I was told that some of the top London fertility clinics were using them to help increase chances of success; and while that was not the reason they were giving them to me, they thought I should know this.
• No egg gel seen on transfer - when the Dr transferred the egg, the scan didn't show where it had gone. I thought this must mean failure, so again this contributed to me relaxing and preparing for the worse.

My body responded hugely differently from the first time. I got 9 follies, 7 embryos, 1 BFP and 3 frosties (first round was 4 follies, 1 embryo, BFN and no frosties). 

My history of tweets below tells the story in real time (starting with the most recent post going back to the start of the treatment). You will see:

• even before the treatment started I had more follicles...makes me wonder if stress was a major factor. 
• I still felt strong cramping and had some spotting (so don't give up hope if you experience this).
• the great Tweeps who cheered me along the way and kept me as positive as possible - thank you.

The end outcome made me the happiest lady on the planet and I still am to this day. I hope our story gives others hope; and wish all the fantastic couples who are still trying the best of luck. I hope this year is your year.

IVF/ICSI Treatment - Part Two: Follicle Stimulation and Menopur

Apologies, I haven't blogged for so long. I typed the post below ages ago then went into my own little bubble, which led to ultimately a very positive life affirming experience...

I will start to update the blog stage by stage as I remember it, so that it provides support and hope to others...Fast forward and you will find ICSI round two was a success. I'm now 19 weeks pregnant....However let's rewind to the continuation of ICSI round one and the follicle stimulation process...

So the next stage was to grow some strong follicles. Given my low AMH, we couldn't hold out for too many, but we just had to hope that those that did grow were strong enough!

After scan to see if Buserelin had worked, the nurse took me into another room to do the first stimulation injection.

I was given the Menopur pack, which had little viles of a powdery substance and lots of little ampules of water. For each injection I had to mix three powders with one water.

The nurse demonstrated how to do the injection:

• first she flicked the ampule to make sure all the water was in the base and then snapped off the top off (placing finger at blue dot). 
• She said sometimes it is difficult to take the top of the ampule without breaking it into little pieces of glass - but she said if this happens, there are plenty of ampules, so just use another.  
• She used the needle to pull up the water. She then put the needle in the first powder and told me to make sure that you see all the powder is dissolved.  
• She then pulled up the new liquid and explained that there can be a bit of a vacuum in the little jars which can make it tough to pull the liquid. 
• She did the same again with jar two, saying "try and get all the liquid up" (which later I found you don't need to worry too much about). 
• She left me to do the third, and though a bit of a challenge. Somehow I managed it. 
• Then the process of injection, was very much the same as the Buserelin...make sure no large air bubbles and squeeze liquid up so a tiny little drop appears on top of needle, then place in belly and inject...Easy?!

Warning, do not follow the next para as an example of how it should be done (that comes later): Well the next day I got up 30 minutes earlier than normal to give myself the injection. I thought that would be plenty of time...but I then found the process very stressful and started to panic as I knew a friend was coming to pick me up to take me to work. Firstly, I struggled to break off the top of the ampule. I manage to get some very small cuts (smaller than paper cuts) between my finger and thumb. I then tried to use paper towel in between and was of course shaking. Then I put needle in the first powder (still shaking)...and "wow, I didn't remember the vacuum being this tough yesterday". Struggled through powders one and two. Gulp. Took several deep breaths and tried to put needle in third jar. Vacuum kicked in before needle was fully in and the liquid went everywhere but in the jar! Arrrgghhh! Had to do it all over again - nerves shattered and clock ticking. I did it, but felt like I'd still lost some of the liquid - but had to get to work.

And then I did the thing I should have done all along, I Tweeted and a lovely Tweep came to my rescue: @earnestsmummy - she gave me Top Tip Number 1:

A simple way to reduce strength of vacuum:

• Follow process of pulling liquid from ampule into syringe
• Place liquid in water
• Pull empty needle out
• Pull air into syringe
• Put needle back in jar and insert air into jar
• With finger still pressed so no air sooked back into syringe, pull out
• I repeated this process two or three times and discovered that the vacuum was next to none, so was much easier to pull the liquid out.

After doing this for the first time, it was like a completely different process. However it still felt like I didn't sook all the liquid up.  I thought nurse had said I should really make sure I get it all, so I called the clinic. As they have been so many times before and since, they were really lovely and helpful - they reassured me that it was difficult to get all liquid and not to worry if it was only very little - phew!

So after this it became easier and easier.

After the Stims process in round one, I had 4 visible follicles, so egg collection went ahead...