The only way is ICSI

It has been a while since my last blog post. I've been very busy with work and difficult to find the time to post. However, I'm resolved to get a better work life balance as we head into the next stage of our fertility journey...

Since my last post we have been going through the final IVF checks. We've met a mix of Drs and nurses along the way. We only one bad experience, where the Dr was lacking any people skills and was incredibly patronising. She demeaned us and one of her own colleagues (also a Dr). When I told her I was taking vitamin D,  she was scathing and snapped back: "what are you taking that for?" I explained that I had started taking it following the advice of one of her colleagues and she said "hmmm well, each to their own." I should add that we just took it all on the chin, as after all we're dependent on these people to help us achieve our miracle. Later, with her nose turned up she added: "You do realise that because you're getting treatment through the NHS we can't guarantee you'll have the same Drs each time." It could have been hubby and I's interpretation and she perhaps didn't mean it, but both of us thought independently. "As long as we don't get you again."

Interestingly on that visit they wrongly labelled my blood sample for AMH, so they had to do it again. I guess none of us a perfect.

As I said this has been an exception rather than a rule - All the other Drs and nurses have been lovely. Very supportive, attentive and sympathetic. Particularly the lovely team who gave me my scan and mock transfer - I will avoid too much information, but for this internal scan and transfer Aunt Flo is still visiting, so you do feel your dignity stripped away a little more than usual. However, throughout the process the Dr and nurse continually offered reassurance and support.

So what did we learn from these last checks? Well, hubby's little swimmers sadly have low motility. So the diagnosis at that point was that we would be given the ICSI treatment (where they give the sperm a better chance by injecting individual swimmers straight into eggs).

When we finally got the results of my AMH test, we learned that I have a low egg reserve. This is when we were pretty much told that The Only Way is ICSI. With our issues combined, we have very low odds of conceiving naturally. Hubby and I were able to laugh about it all: Really will need to evoke the spirit of Rocky (who my husband loves) so that we can triumph over adversity. For those of you who know the films, I instantly pictured us in the winter training scene for Rocky IV (see below)...

Again the Dr explaining the issues to us, was really reassuring and said, but it only needs one strong embryo to succeed. This truly will be our little miracle! If we have a little boy, hubby thinks we should name it Rocky or Sly...Hmmmm!

I only wish I'd had an AMH test before buying DuoFertility, but hey ho, it's worth trying everything we can to start our family. Will need to see if I can give the monitor to someone who can truly benefit from it.

So what's next? Tomorrow I begin the Buserelin injections. Very nervous about taking the injections myself, but the nurse did give me a good demonstration. I think it will be easier once I've got the first one out the way. I've also Googled and have found some lovely fellow infertiles who give top tips on YouTube. The Buserelin will stop my hormone production in around two to three weeks - Apparently the side effects can be like a mini-menopause. After that treatment, I will receive more drugs to stimulate my follicles into producing eggs again. Once I have enough follicles, I will need to go into hospital for a wee sedated operation to remove the eggs. Finally, egg transfer should happen within a month or so of the first injection.

Each woman responds to the drugs in different ways, so it is difficult to get exact times of when I will need time off work. With this in mind, and with some encouragement from my Tweeps, I decided to tell my manager. I was very nervous about telling her, but she has been so supportive from the start. I would really recommend doing this, as it takes away an unnecessary stress - especially when Buserelin could have some visible side effects.

So here's to the next stage in my journey to become a mum. Excited, nervous and ready for the fight: Cue alternative Eye of the Tiger sing-a-long (alternative lyrics below):

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance
Now I'm back on my feet
Just a woman with a will to be a mum

So many times, it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

[Chorus]

It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge
Of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks her prey in the night
And she's watching us all
with the
Eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds
Still we take to the street
For the embie with the skill to survive

[Chorus]

Risin' up straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance
Now I'm not gonna stop
Just a woman with a will to be a mum

[Chorus]

The eye of the tiger
The eye of the tiger
The eye of the tiger
The eye of the tiger 

[Original song by Survivor. Lyrics changed to give infertile women the will to be a mum!]