It would be so easy to let this be a reminder of the fact that I still don't have kids, but I'm not letting infertility beat me. Instead I'm seeing this as a day of hope and of course celebrating all those fabulous mum's I'm aware of in my life. It is a day of hope, because this day represents all those women who have been on a similar journey to me and in the end have experienced the joys of motherhood. It is the sign that every day we are one step closer to being a mum. Thinking in this way has made this a very special day for me.
I feel so happy and contented to be me. "I have a great mum and I will be a great mum" - not everyone can say the same. The infertility journey has brought me so many opportunities and taught me so many things that I would never have learned had we been luckier in trying to conceive.
These thoughts were reinforced in me when I recently went to see a life coach. She tasked me with thinking what I would do if I won the lottery. Now I'm sure many of you out there in the blogosphere have thought about this. And I began with using some of those things I've joked about in the past, but then she got me to really think genuinely what I would do...I would begin with some relaxing breaks with DH and then separately with my mum, sister and cousin. Once truly relaxed I would look at investing in having a child. Ideally I'd like three children: two that we produce ourselves and one adoptive (all equally my children). I'd move to somewhere like Loch Lomond, with beautiful scenery, but not too far from a city. I'd build my own house (which would include a living area which has a window for a wall that looks out onto a Loch or river) and of course a fantastic play room. I would open a local community centre, which had a library, live folk music, tea and cake (a bar on occasions), a room for yoga, a play room for mothers and toddlers and a separate room where support groups (eg infertility support groups) could meet. The cafe would have a large glass window, which would look out into an area of natural beauty. The window would be tinted and sound proofed, so that we could watch the stunning Scottish wildlife as we drink our tea. Those working there would be highly motivated and love their job - getting a perfect balance of work and life. I'd organise events that would bring families and communities together and generally create a hub of happiness or at least relief.
We continue to look to the future and have our screening appointment for IVF in a couple of weeks. Excited and nervous about what the future holds - will we ever conceive our own child? I do hope so, but if this doesn't work I am now confident that I will look to adopt. There are so many wonderful children born into the world who don't have the family lives they deserve and who need people like us to be there for them.
These thoughts were reinforced in me when I recently went to see a life coach. She tasked me with thinking what I would do if I won the lottery. Now I'm sure many of you out there in the blogosphere have thought about this. And I began with using some of those things I've joked about in the past, but then she got me to really think genuinely what I would do...I would begin with some relaxing breaks with DH and then separately with my mum, sister and cousin. Once truly relaxed I would look at investing in having a child. Ideally I'd like three children: two that we produce ourselves and one adoptive (all equally my children). I'd move to somewhere like Loch Lomond, with beautiful scenery, but not too far from a city. I'd build my own house (which would include a living area which has a window for a wall that looks out onto a Loch or river) and of course a fantastic play room. I would open a local community centre, which had a library, live folk music, tea and cake (a bar on occasions), a room for yoga, a play room for mothers and toddlers and a separate room where support groups (eg infertility support groups) could meet. The cafe would have a large glass window, which would look out into an area of natural beauty. The window would be tinted and sound proofed, so that we could watch the stunning Scottish wildlife as we drink our tea. Those working there would be highly motivated and love their job - getting a perfect balance of work and life. I'd organise events that would bring families and communities together and generally create a hub of happiness or at least relief.
This may all sound like a Disney fairy tale, but these dreams keep me thinking positively through the ups and the downs. And while I may never fulfill all of this without that winning lottery ticket, I am happy with the direction I'm going and look forward to seeing what the journey ahead holds for me.
So huge hugs and Happy Mother's Day to all:
- those that already mothers: relish the time you have with your children
- those who have lost: we will never forget your little angels and the happy memories they have left you
- those who are yet to be: never forget every day you're one day closer to being a mum...
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