Real men face up to infertility

As my not-so lovely Aunt(ie) Flo has announced her imminent arrival, my thoughts turn to the next steps I need to take on the fertility ladder.

I've been for all the preliminary tests that I need via my GP and the next step is for my husband to go to get his swimmers tested. My GP is all set to refer me to a fertility specialist, but has said she can't do so until my husband gets his sperm mobility tested, but he's stalling just saying that we will fall pregnant eventually. He's very blase about it all, but I think he's in denial (we have been trying for around 2 years now!). I know that he sees it as a slight on his manlyhood. From what I gather, this is common male reaction, as comedian Jason Manford nicely illustrates in his sketch:

So I've started thinking about all the men he might admire who have faced infertility issues: Gavin from BBC's Gavin and Stacey and...well... After that I realised that not many male celebrities have actually confessed they have their own infertility issues (other than characters on TV programmes and films). I even did a Google search to see what names I could find.

Is there something written into the male code of practice that if you admit you might be infertile, you're less of a man!? If so, why? This really is contradictory behaviour, as surely it's the man who is brave enough to address his infertility that's the real man? Like the gorgeous Hugh Jackman, although I don't think it was ever revealed where he and his wife's infertility issues were.

We need more celebrity males going public on sperm mobility issues etc to show others that it is nothing to be ashamed of! If they did this hopefully gradually the wider male community begin to realise this is not a slight on them and that actually it is a common occurrence, which in some occasions can be remedied!

Whatever you think of them, all these famous women have really helped to prove that infertility is not a slight on femininity and give us the power to do whatever it takes to be a mum:

Celine Dion, Alexis Stewart, Nancy Sorrell, Courtney Cox-Arquette, Christine Brinkley, Helena Bonham Carter, Marcia Cross, Melanie Griffith, Alex Kingston, Jane Seymour, Brenda Strong, Emma Thompson, Trinny Woodhall, Brooke Shields...

We just need more male celebrities to do the same...

In fact, if anyone is aware of any examples of more infertile celebrity males please do share details.

Love my Tweeps

This is my first blog. I'm beginning to realise that you can't truly blog until you find a subject that you're truly passionate about and for me right now that's trying to conceive (TTC). My husband and I have been trying to conceive on and off for two years now, but only in the last year have I felt so ready to be a mum that it actually hurts!

So far I've consulted my GP, been tested for hormone levels, bought books, paid for fortnightly acupuncture sessions, consulted a naturopath, taken supplements and bought every magazine that I see that might have a feature on TTC and the magic solution that will work for me. Acupuncture and naturopathy have certainly brought me some relief and taken me to another stage of relaxation and the books and magazines have taught me things that no-one ever dare to teach you. I've learned I have an irregular cycle and that I don't ovulate on day 14, as some professionals may like to tell you (in fact it seems to be a different day every month!). I also learned that I only have LH for a short period of time, which means I need to use two ovulation tests a day to know exactly when I'm ovulating.

However the biggest emotional support for me comes from my Tweeps on Twitter. Discussing fertility is a faux pas at work and it is also something that's very hard to properly discuss with family and friends, especially if TTC has come easy to them. They can be supportive, sympathetic and caring and of course are the most important people in my life....But my Tweeps...Well my Tweeps know exactly what it feels like when my AF comes every month, when another friend or colleague announces they're expecting, when all you see are pregnant women everywhere, the torture of another two week wait (TWW) or simply what it's like to want so badly to be a mum! They know exactly what to say at those moments and I'd like to thank them all for that and put in writing how much they mean to me. I hope too that, when they're most in need, I can offer them a virtual shoulder to cry on and the emotional support they need to help them through what is one of the most challenging and emotional journeys in life. They're an amazing bunch of very brave and inspiring women and men, and I'm glad I have them by my side on my journey to become a mum, no matter what I have to do to get there...And Tweeps, I look forward to the days I can celebrate with each and every one of you as you all achieve you fertility/adoption goals!! Thank you! x